Getting A Lover Back - Tips For Doing It Right

Getting A Lover Back - Tips For Doing It Right



Getting a lover back can be a tricky proposition.  Come on too strong and you'll scare them off for good, or they'll consider you a backup plan and take their time having fun and trying to see what other options they may have, all the while you'll be writhing in pain as they date one person after another.  Or, come across as indifferent and they'll be convinced the two of you are over and they'll find someone else. Either way, you're screwed.  The good news is that there is a happy medium, a way to let your ex know that you still care and may be interested in a reconciliation without giving the impression that you'll be sitting around waiting for them to make up their mind.

If you don't want to seem pathetic, it's important that you cut out all contact with your ex.  Don't call, text, email, or just show up at their home or work.  Just leave them alone.  This is imperative if you don't want them to think of you as a sure thing, waiting on the sidelines.  And don't worry about them forgetting about you, if you follow this advice, they'll more than likely hear a lot about what you're doing from mutual friends.

The next thing for you to do is give up any dumb ideas of making them jealous.  Sure, it may work, they may get jealous but that doesn't mean that that jealously will make them want you back and even if it did they'd only be getting back together with you for the wrong reasons and the relationship probably wouldn't work anyway.

What you should be doing is living your life to the fullest no matter how hard that may seem right now.  Go out with your friends, have fun.  Do all the things you like to do but didn't have the chance to do when you and your ex were together.  Take this time to make yourself a better person, whatever that means to you.

Maybe you've been meaning to take a trip, what are you waiting for?  Go, explore.  This will help you in many ways: for one thing it will keep your thoughts occupied with other things besides pain.  Another benefit is that if you send a lot of postcards home to friends, your ex will hear about all the fun, interesting things you are doing.  That will intrigue them.  And lastly, you will expand yourself as a person. All new experiences help us to grow.  Every time we try something new and different, especially those things that scare us a little bit, make us better  more well rounded and interesting people. And that will help you in all aspects of your life, not just in getting your ex back.

Concentrating on living your life and trying to be happy is the best way of getting a lover back.  It may sound odd, but everyone is attracted to interesting, fun loving people.  No one is attracted to someone who seems needy and desperate. Which one would you rather be? 

Write the Perfect Love Letter

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"Make Your Lover Melt With These Romantic Love Letters That You Can Whip Out In Minutes - Whenever You Get The Urge Or The Situation Demands A Response!"

Do you ever wish you could write an exquisite love letter that would capture your beloved's heart? Read on to find out how fast and easy it is! 

 

  Date:   Thursday 8pm
From:  Jill Brennan, Relationship Coach
Dear Fellow Romantic,
If you've struggled in the past trying to write a love letter, THEN this may be the most important letter you'll ever read.
Because there's no doubt that...

writing your beloved a heartfelt romantic letter is one of the best ways to show them just how much you care!

But if you're like most people you struggle knowing what to write. Don't worry, you're not alone. Heaps of people get stuck when it comes to sitting down and putting their emotions on paper. It sure isn't easy.
How do I know?
Because I've been writing love letters to my husband for more years than I care to count (we've been together nineteen years so that gives you some idea that we're not talking a mere year or two!).
And I know when I started it was tough. I didn't even know how to begin. How do you put all these complex emotions that are swirling around in your head and your heart and get them to make sense on paper?
There's no better feeling than knowing that you are loved unconditionally and to me that's what love letters are about - they're solid evidence of a love that has endured and continues to grow.
But they not only help keep love alive in a relationship, they can stop misunderstandings and resentments from gathering strength and steamrolling into wide chasms. Whenever I get a....Read More Here

Does Love Help You Live Longer - The Real Answer

Does Love Help You Live Longer - The Real Answer



Does love help you live longer? What a great question! Statistics show that happily married couples live as much as five years longer than their single counterparts (with the effect being somewhat more pronounced in married men). Because it is so subjective, it is impossible to accurately measure love with statistics. However, with a cursory glance of the data, it seems reasonably safe to assume that love, does, in some way, lead people to spend a few more years among the living.

Everybody agrees that being loved is a wonderful feeling. Knowing that somebody cares for us is hard to explain in words, but it sure feels good! Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if you smiled a little bit just now thinking about the people that love you. And though true love towards someone doesn't require that they love you back, I bet you just so happen to return love to those who love you most.

Loving others means you are unselfish when dealing with them. Caring for someone else's happiness and well-being takes your focus off of you and puts other people first. This can be a marvelous way to reduce stress that would otherwise steal years from our lives.

Another quick answer to the question "does love help you live longer" is, "hate sure makes you die sooner". Hating others only increases other negative feelings and stress. Have you ever felt a certain something pumping through your body when you hate someone or something? Your whole physiology changes. Besides, it's wasted energy, because those that are the subject of our hatred either don't care how we feel, or have no idea how we feel.

One more aspect of love and longevity is that love often gives us a reason to keep on living. Men and women throughout the world have survived horrendous situations (man-made and natural) only because they focused on seeing their loved ones once again. If that's not a testament to the life-extending power of love, I don't know what is!

The connection between emotional health and physical health is still not completely understood. However, there are clear links between the two. The human body is, in many ways, greater than the sum of its parts. Another way to look at it is if we are in prime physical shape, but are emotional wrecks, then we are not getting all life has to offer.

Let's be realistic for a moment, shall we? Love may not keep you from getting hit by a bus when crossing the street, but it can make recovering from such an accident more bearable. Even if love can't be proven to help you live longer, I know I would rather have a few short years of loving someone, instead of having several lifetimes without any love at all.

There are two easy ways to use love to increase the quality of life. The first is to show love towards others. That not only includes family and friends, but everyone you deal with in some capacity. The second way can be a bit trickier for some: allow others to love you. Keep the following phrase in mind as you go about your day, and see what a difference it makes. The phrase? "Let love happen".

Navigating The 5 Emotional Stages Of A Relationship Breakup

Navigating The 5 Emotional Stages Of A Relationship Breakup



The following emotional stages of a relationship breakup are only guidelines to help you navigate through a difficult time to a happier ending. What's important to understand is that even though they are uncomfortable, each of the following feelings are quite normal.

What follows are often referred to as the "five emotional stages of grief". Each of the concepts apply just as easily to a relationship breakup. The major difference is that some of the stages can happen while the relationship is still in tact.

The first stage is denial. There are plenty of stories about spouses and significant others who justified the odd behavior of an ex before a breakup.

"Oh, he probably got lipstick on his collar when he accidentally bumped into someone."

"She didn't call to tell me she was going to be late because she was too busy with work."

Those are two rather blatant examples that may not apply, but how about this one? "We don't argue that much, we just like to discuss our problems." Open communication is great, but not when it's used as an excuse for calling each other names and saying hurtful things. You have to make an honest assessment of your relationship if you want it to succeed, denial prevents that from happening. If you are able to recognize and correct things at the denial stage, then you may not have to worry about the rest.

Anger and resentment may be the most common of the emotional stages of a relationship breakup. You broke up, and now you're mad at your ex. Even if deep down you know it was mostly your fault, you find reasons to be mad at them. You have to let go of the anger and resentment before you can move on. Plus, it is much better for your overall health when you're not carrying around so much anger.

Trying to patch things up is a worthy goal, but resorting to negotiation (the next stage) isn't the best way to go about it. Here you will say and do anything to get your ex back. You will change, make promises, and do "whatever it takes". But you're not really thinking them through. More than likely they do not fit in with your character and will be impossible for you to follow through on. When you notice you're using the word "if" a lot, it's a sure sign you are at this stage.

Depression as one of the emotional stages of a relationship breakup can really pop up at just about any time in the process. You may believe that you could never love somebody the same way again, or worse, that nobody will ever love you again. Regardless of when it occurs, be willing to seek professional help if you need it.

The final stage is acceptance. It's just like it sounds. You have come to terms with your relationship and accept whatever has happened. You start feeling better (not necessarily great, but better) and are ready to start being yourself again.

Remember, these five stages are just a guideline. You may not experience all of them, and they may be in a different order and vary in their intensity. Now that you are aware of the stages, it will be easier to get through them if the situation arises.

Break Up Recovery Sucks - There Is Life After Your Breakup

Break Up Recovery Sucks - There Is Life After Your Breakup



"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and as you start your break up recovery you can focus on how to get stronger for that next big relationship in your life. You may need to do a pulse check to make sure your heart is still beating, but more than likely it still is. While losing this relationship may have caused your heart to stop for a little while, it will beat again. While you are learning that your heart will go on, try focusing on some things that will help you from repeating mistakes that may have been made in your last relationship so you don't go through them again. Here are some things that might help you in the future.

Become secure in yourself. If you want to have a relationship that is secure, then try being more secure. If you need therapy then get it. Find ways to feel good about yourself and expect nothing but the best. If this new relationship is going to be grounded, it will need someone to be grounded in. Don't expect it to be the new person. Don't look for security in the new love. Look for it in yourself. Not only will this help you in the way you look and feel about yourself, it will help you look more attractive to others.

Responsibility should be shared. In many failed relationships most of the work is done by only one person. A good and solid relationship takes two people putting in equal effort. If both people are working towards the relationship's success then it will most likely endure. Look for and expect a 50-50 split in the load shared. This may mean more work from you and it may mean holding your new partner to a higher standard. In either case it is well worth it. If someone isn't working in it, you have to question just how important it is to them. If both don't see the value then there might not be much to work for.

Learn to communicate better and more lovingly. Communication break down is often one of the symptoms and sometimes the cause of a failed relationship. It could mean you learning to talk more or less. Train yourself to listen more. Ask for your new love's opinions on things and don't dominate discussions. Don't allow them to dominate your discussions either. You have a voice, use it to voice your concerns and feelings. A key to learning how to communicate better is in training ourselves to respond better. Does your initial response sound harsh or defensive? Your tone and word choice can make situations much worse than they need to be.

The key to having a successful break up recovery is to come out of it better, stronger, and smarter becoming more prepared for the next relationship. What will make the difference between success and failure is what you bring into the relationship and how you come into it.

How To Ease Depression After A Break Up

How To Ease Depression After A Break Up



To be blunt, breaking up sucks! And it's not just the feelings of loneliness that make it a lousy experience. Nasty things like guilt, pain, despair, and self-loathing can all seem to rear their ugly heads at the same time. Each of these emotions can derive from, or be the cause of, depression after a break up. The following thoughts will help you through it, and have you coming out the other side a new and improved you.

It is vital to realize that post-relationship depression is a very real problem. While that may not be a medical diagnosis, you must take it seriously, seeking professional help if needed.

Chances are your friends will try to cheer you up. But, let's face it, sometimes the things they say after a break up only make it worse. However, they can be a great resource to recovering from heartbreak, so be sure to take them up on any offers to help; assuming they fit in with your plans.

The main thing you need to do at this point is focus on taking care of yourself. You may not feel like eating, talking to anyone, or even taking care of basic hygiene. But you have to find a way to do it. Again, see a professional if these things start happening.

Though you may feel like it now, don't try to erase your ex completely from your mind. It's impossible to do so, and by trying to forget, you will actually be remembering more. You may want to get right back into another relationship to forget your ex (or to fill the void that has been left by their leaving). You just have to give it time. Do your best to avoid harmful rebound relationships, at all costs, as they can lead to a much worse situation.

One thing that really helps is to be around people. It may be difficult to be around friends and family that offer advice without understanding what you're really going through. The trick is to be social without having to deal with people that know you, your ex, or your situation. That's why volunteering for charities outside of your home is such a great idea. You don't have to worry about the excess emotional baggage, and you are getting rid of your depression after a break up and helping others at the same time.

While being around other people can work wonders, it's okay to enjoy your own company, too. Now is the ideal time to do things you have always wanted to do. Just be careful not to do things you associate with being a couple, at least at first.

A lot of depression after a break up stems from having too much extra time. How you use that time is key to your emotional well-being. You can use this time to make yourself more miserable, or you can use it to become a better, stronger, happier person. Admittedly, the latter choice isn't always easy, but it is possible...the choice is yours!